I’m also waiting on a new Boards of Canada album. I have no idea if they’re recording anything new, I’m just waiting for it.

Oh, it’s loud and it rocks. And it hooks galore, but this doesn’t feel like a classic R.E.M. album. Once upon a time, Lifes Rich Pageant was a “love it or hate it” proposition on REM forums. Many felt it was shallow, had too much of a mainstream rock sound, and wasn’t “moody” enough. I always thought people who said that weren’t listening close enough, because there are plenty of “curve balls” throughout. But now I’m saying the exact same thing about Accelerate.

For one thing, as most CDs that come out today, it suffers from the “loudness war.” Even the quiet moments are loud and there are no dynamics anywhere to be heard. While this would be all right in some cases, the lack of quietness renders the loud guitars mute. It’s just a big loud, tiring mess of an album. Thank God it’s only 32 minutes, otherwise you might not be able to stand it.

For another, where are the moody digressions? Houston is the album’s worst song with dreadful lyrics, and though it borrows its melody line, it’s no Swan Swan H. Green was seen as another arena rock record, but it had songs like You Are The Everything, The Wrong Child and World Leader Pretend. Nothing close to those songs can be found on Accelerate.

And if I’m hearing Mr. Richards correctly, it’s easily the most annoyingly self-righteous thing Stipey has ever written. So yeah, Michael Richard’s racist comments were disgusting, but eviscerating him worse than George Bush is pretty short-sighted, and just a way for Stipey to “thump his chest and rattle in front of his piano.” Shame, too, because the guitars on that track are the best on the album.

Don’t get me wrong, Accelerate is still the best thing they’ve done in 12 years. It’s still a really fun listen, but this is hardly a return to the late 80s. I just hope the next album they release has its fair share of curve balls among the fast balls.

Overall, I give it a 6.

Most people say everything went horribly wrong when Bill Berry left the group, and they are right. I thought Up had a few really great songs, but the whole album was merely decent. Reveal and Around the Sun almost made me cry. So when I heard they had a new album out, I wasn’t ready to be impressed. I wasn’t even planning on buy it, until I heard Supernatural Superserious on the radio. What? REM playing electric guitars again? And this song has a hook?

Accelerate is a really great album, and it’s great to hear the band rocking again. Still, I feel many people are going overboard on overselling this album. For one, many people are forgetting 1996′s excellent New Adventures in Hi-Fi. That album was pretty varied, but was more hard rock than not. So the idea this is the band’s best loud album since Document rings false to me. It is a whole lot better than Monster (which was an album I’ve never really cared for).

I’m really glad I bought this album, and I’d love to think this is the rebirth of a great band. Maybe they could have another string of great albums, but even if they never release another album, this is a great way to go out. It even made me forget about that last one.

OK, so here is my list of REM albums, with a rating beside each, out of a possible 10:

Chronic Town – 9
Murmur – 10
Reckoning – 10
Fables of the Reconstruction – 9
Lifes Rich Pageant – 8
Dead Letter Office – 7
Document – 10
Green – 6
Out of Time – 6
Automatic for the People – 10
Monster – 5
New Adventures in Hi-Fi – 9
Up – 5
Reveal – 5
Around the Sun – 3
Accelerate – ?

Yeah, right now it’s about an 8, but I like to keep it open, if I want to raise or lower that grade sometime later.